Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize