Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize