she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
