Duck Duck Cougar?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
