I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
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