Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
