I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
