You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
