You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the day after is always just damage control
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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