24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
