8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
