I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize