I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
