I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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