Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
