Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You took a bar mat shot.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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