dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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