problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
