Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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