His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize