Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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