literally had 100 drinks last night.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
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I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
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I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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