WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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