Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
