I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
