if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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