my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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