My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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