Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
