"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
