You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
