We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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