She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
