If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
