all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize