Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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