Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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