well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
