Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
