What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
