I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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