is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
