conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
