I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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