I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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