This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
