If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
