The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
