you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
