She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
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duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
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Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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