It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
