Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
