someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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