wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
